Sunday, May 1, 2011

I'm going to be a working Mom

At first, I thought I was just terrified to go back to work. I got a sick feeling in my gut the days following the official offer letter. It has been two years since I worked full time in a serious career. I feared, I'd lack the drive and motivation I once had. I questioned my decision over and over and only began to doubt more when we went looking at daycares.

"Is this the right decision?" I don't know. I'm tired of worrying about money and our old cars and all the problems. I had hoped I could stay at home until all of our child(and the future children, that haven't even been born yet) was in school, but it doesn't look that way and I am disappointed.

When it comes down to it, that is what has given me the uneasy nerves. I almost feel as if I failed at "our" plan.

The funny thing is, this job opportunity is amazing and I didn't even dream of these benefits or salary they have offered me. I have been extremely lucky and blessed with this great new circumstance but my own selfishness has gotten in the way.

I'm really excited now, to start my new job on Monday! I've got my motivation back and I look forward to all the things I will be able to provide for my family. Weekends off are great too and we will have some fun quality time together.  Now we will be able to take our trip, this coming holiday season, to visit family in Arizona!

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